It just hit me this morning, that everything's changed...
- No more sweet messages
- No more presents/drawings
- No more sweet nothings abt love and who I’m with/doing
- Lies about leaving office early (mum, unwell, meeting) or late (calls)
- I felt turned off when he tried to be funny in the staircase yesterday. This morning, I refused to go to the carpark with him as I knew where/what it would have ended in.
I don’t want to
force him
- To spend time with me
- To give me gifts (I’m not talking abt valuable things)
- To say meaningless sweet nothings to me
- To text me as we were doing in the past
- To tell me about what he is doing during weekends/holidays
I can tell that he
is trying or struggling with spending time at home/me
He is barely
spending any additional time with me and I’m suffering from the lack of attention
Should I be glad
that he’s bothering to come up with lies to put me down gently?
I need to wake up
and reconcile that he had made his choice and his choice doesn't include me
I must remind myself
to “Sit and let God put my enemies at my feet”
My enemies are not me
or her or even him but it is my addiction to him
My unhappiness, my guilt, self-blame and all the negative stuff
I know I can break
free of the insecurity, unhappiness and addiction
I know I can move on.. I
will move on…